


What Now?

by Willbakefordean



Series: Who Doesn't Love a Man in Uniform [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Librarian Castiel, M/M, Military AU, Soldier Dean, male carriers, spouse Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7351744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willbakefordean/pseuds/Willbakefordean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After losing their parents, Dean and Cas found each other and together raised Sam. But what happens to them now that Sam is successful and on his own?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas attend Sam's graduation from law school and Dean reminisces about the road that led them there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the few fics I have written where Dean and Cas have not had a huge support base. Also, Dean and Cas have sacrificed for Sam and essentially put their own lives on hold. This is one time where Dean's mechanic skills are not the vehicle for a lucrative business. Also, Cas cannot get a dependable Librarian position so the boys struggle a bit.

Cas clutched Dean’s hand tightly. Sam was giving a toast and Cas knew it would be beautiful and yet hard for his husband to hear. Sam’s graduation from Stanford Law had been both long and moving, but this dinner with his new firm at a swanky restaurant could push Dean over the edge and Cas wanted to be ready to catch, if necessary. 

Of course Dean gripped back just as tightly to Cas’s hand, but true to his form, no one could tell how close to the edge he was teetering. Only the pride in his baby brother’s accomplishment showed and he beamed as his brother stood before his small family and the massive law firm with whom he was now employed, glass in hand and ready to speak.

“Ladies and gentlemen if you could spare a moment away from this lovely dinner to indulge me the opportunity to thank a few people without whom I would not be here today…”  

The clever son of a bitch always could hold the room and Cas could see Dean nearly burst with pride. How did they get here so fast?

*****

Dean was four when his mother died in the house fire. His father did his best to raise he and baby Sam, but it was too much for the man who had lost the love of his life. By the time Dean was entering high school, he knew the hardships of the real world and had been working to earn money at odd jobs to keep Sam in jeans that fit and food that was healthy. 

Meeting Cas freshman year had saved his very soul. Dean felt like Cas had pulled him free from hell itself. He still worked almost every moment he could at his Bobby SInger’s garage, under the table of course, but he had Cas at the end of every day and together they could survive anything. 

Cas understood Dean like no one else could. He had been raised by his older brother Gabe after the loss of their parents a few years back. It was as if the stars had somehow aligned and the two boys grew together and no one ever questioned them being a couple. Kansas was not acknowledging same sex couples but somehow their families didn’t care or in John’s case, didn’t notice. 

Gabe, who loved Dean like his own brother, sat them the two boys down and gave them a stern sex talk. Cas was a male carrier, a rare case and Gabe was careful to be supportive but also made sure the boys did not have another child to raise. He gave them their first condoms and lube and lots of embarrassing books to read. In the end they were grateful.

When Dean and Cas graduated high school, they had planned to go to KU together. Cas would study library science and Dean mechanical engineering. The untimely death of John Winchester left Dean the guardian of a fourteen year old and no shot at college just yet. Dean remembered the time well. It was when he knew he and Cas were in it for the long haul.

“Cas, just go. You have everything all set. You’ll just get another roommate and it will all work out. You deserve to go.” Dean gave his best friend and lover, his everything, the out he thought he might want .

“Oh and you don’t deserve to go? You haven’t worked just as hard to go, too?” Cas shot back. Dean just hung his head at his lost dream. A poking finger in his chest startled him.

“I’ll tell you what is going to happen. I am going to go because I have a scholarship for the tuition, but I am going to commute and cancel the loans. The money from my parents will cover it. If I schedule creatively, I can still help with Sam and we can crawl into bed together every night. It’s what we need. It’s what I want, Dean. I want you and Sam. We’re a family.” 

Dean didn’t cry often but he cried himself to sleep in Cas’ arms that night, thankful for the man who held him and held them together. 

Cas commuted the 40 minutes to KU and with his scholarship and a the help from his small inheritance he graduated on time. That same year Sam finished high school and headed to Stanford. Cas got a job at the local library two towns over and he and Dean pooled their money to get a one room apartment and send every bit of extra cash they had to Sam. 

After four years he graduated and was accepted to Stanford Law on scholarship. Cas and Dean scrimped and saved and drove out for the graduation. They surprised him with a leather briefcase and by getting married. They couldn’t in Kansas and wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. It was just the three of them, plus Sam’s girlfriend Jess but it was meaningful and felt right. They exchanged rings and celebrated Sam’s accomplishment and headed back to Kansas. 

*****

Cas nudged Dean in the ribs and despite the conflict of happy and sad memories, he smiled. He sat next to Cas, married two years. The boy they raised when they were just boys themselves was now a man and was thanking the law firm for all of the opportunities and the chance to prove his worth. It was as if they were on autopilot and hearing about someone else’s wonderful life. 

Then Sam turned to them and his tone changed as he spoke, “I would be remiss if I did not make sure that you had all met my brother, Dean and his husband Cas. It’s important to me because these two men sacrificed so much to help me be the person I am today.” Sam stopped for a minute, overcome with emotion and Dean saw Jess place her hand in his. 

“Today would never have happened for me if they had not put their dreams on hold. They gave up theirs so that I could have mine. Sometimes I kick myself for not appreciating that as much as I should have. I want you to know I’m grateful to you and I know what it cost you. Cas you got a lot more than you ever bargained for when you chose Dean.”

Cas piped in, “I knew what I was getting into, Sam. I chose you both, willingly.” Sam’s eyes softened at Cas’ words and he nodded to his brother in law. 

“Dean is the big brother everyone should be lucky enough to have. I don’t know how to ever make it up to you. I don’t  think I ever can…” 

Sam’s words were lost in emotion but Dean stood and went to Sam whose shoulders had begun to shake and pulled him into a warm embrace, whispering, “You already have, Sammy. You already have.”

To Dean’s surprise, the entire room began to clap and soon Dean found himself in the middle of a bunch of lawyers who were all on their feet. Sam collected himself and grabbed his glass, “To Dean and Cas, to my family!” 

Shouts of,  “Hear, Hear!” took over the room and people patted Dean on the back and congratulated them both before the dinner continued. Dean and Cas held hands under the table when they could and might have gotten a little snockered before the evening was over, but Sam had been chosen by a good firm and had Jess by his side.  Thought they would always feel like parents to him, they knew that Sam would be okay. 


	2. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is worried about Dean since their return from California, but Dean comes up with a plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not pretend to understand what it is like to live as a homosexual and I mean no offense to anyone. I did see movies and slide shows while at the graduation that showed same sex couples and even a wedding.  
> Dean works under the table for Bobby because he is not a certified mechanic, not because Bobby isn't nice. Though you can see that Bobby is not as close to Dean as I usually make him in most of my fics.

It had been a week since they had returned to Kansas from California. Dean had been quiet on the flight home and equally subdued in the days following. Cas had expected Dean would be a little sad, almost like empty nest syndrome, even though Sam had lived in California for 6 years. He felt different leaving Sam there this time, he could only imagine how it felt to Dean. He thought Dean would at least feel a sense of financial relief from no longer having to worry about sending money to Sam, but as far as he could tell, Dean was not appreciating the upside of Sam's graduation in any way. In fact it was the opposite and Cas thought Dean was becoming depressed.  

“Honey?” Cas asked as he slipped an arm around Dean’s waist. They were crawling into bed just after ten on a Sunday night, unusually early for them. Cas pulled Dean close and kissed him right behind the ear, and whispered, “What’ going on in that mind of yours, huh?”

“Nothin’ babe, ‘m fine.” Dean pulled away just a little and punched his pillow to fluff it.

Cas rolled onto his back. He hated when Dean shut him out. It never lasted long, but it was miserable until it was over. This was the longest Dean had kept to himself. They hadn’t even had sex since they got back and that was a big deal for them.  “Well, not to be pushy, but you don’t seem fine to me...I’m getting worried.”

It took a few minutes of patience but finally Dean turned to Cas. To his surprise, Dean became emotional and Cas pulled him into his arms. “Dean, honey, come here...what’s wrong?”

Dean curled into Cas and alternated between letting silent tears fall and angrily admitting his concerns to Cas. “I’m 28 years old and I work under the table at my dad’s friend's garage for starters, Cas!”

“You’re an exc-”

“Don’t say it Cas, Don’t… Being an excellent mechanic doesn’t put a roof over your head or cover health care.  Hell it hardly buys food.”

“Honey, you can find a job at a different garage now that we aren’t worried about Sam and I can find a better job and-”

“Cas…” Dean sighed deeply. “I can’t get a decent job without certification and we can’t get family insurance in Kansas. We said we would start a family after Sam graduated and I can’t provide stability for us to have kids. That’s what is bothering me. It sucks. _I suck_. I’m sorry, babe.”

Cas was sad for Dean but also a little irritated. “Stop! You don’t suck. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We can figure this out, okay? You’re not the only one who can’t get a decent job, you know.”

Dean took Cas’ face in his hands and spoke sweetly, “Hey now. This wasn’t supposed to be about you, babe. It’s not your fault you can’t get a good position. Librarians seem to live to be a hundred years old in Kansas and never retire.”

Cas laughed at his husband’s attempt at making him feel better. Then he had a thought. “Why stay here then? Why not move to better jobs? Sam has an apartment of his own and Gabe can afford to travel to us if he wants. What’s really holding us here in Kansas anymore?”

Dean’s look softened, “You mean you’d move from here?”

“I’d go anywhere as long as we’re together. Let’s face it, we kept this shitty apartment because it gave us more money for Sam. We hate this place. Do you even want to raise kids in a state where they don’t recognize our marriage?” Cas asked sincerely.”Just give it some thought is all I’m saying.”

“I will, babe,” Dean answered. “I mean it, and Cas...I love you.”

“I love you too, honey,” Cas whispered as he pulled Dean closer. They both fell asleep and slept a little better than they had in a few nights.

*****

Cas had a morning shift at the library and was up early for a run before it began.  Running cleared his mind and when he got back, sometimes he and Dean would have a little fun in the shower before work. The last mile of his run he hoped Dean would be up, he had seemed better at the end of their talk last night.

He headed to the kitchen for a drink before heading to the bedroom with high hopes. Taped to the cupboard that held the glasses, Dean knew him so well, was a note:

 

_Babe,_

_Sorry I left before you got back. Got an idea and went to check  a few things out. See you at lunch. Love you bunches,_

_Dean_

 

Yeah, Dean was definitely feeling better. Cas showered and headed off to work with a little more energy and looking forward to lunch.

*****

Dean swung by the library and waited out front for Cas to finish his shift. Cas never complained about them having baby as their only car. Dean knew she was expensive to drive and maintain but Cas seemed to understand that Dean needed the connection she gave him to his family. He remembered happy times in baby with his parents and fell in love with Cas in that car.

He startled as Cas opened the door and slid into his seat, “Hello Dean.”

“Hey Sweetheart,” Dean answered leaning in for a kiss. He loved it when Cas greeted him with that deep gravel in his voice, formally, like he was in charge. It gave Dean shivers all over.

The were seated at the table of their favorite diner and chowing on burgers, a rare treat, before Dean told Cas what he had been investigating. He was a little nervous that Cas would object, he had no idea what was coming.

After his final bite of burger gave him the courage he needed, he pulled the pamphlets from his pocket and slid them across the table for Cas to see.

Cas eyebrows went up and swallowed hard. “The military?”

Dean began to spew his argument before Cas shut him down. “Actually, the Air Force. They’re looking for mechanics right now and it’s the shortest training period and you could join too if you wanted but I was thinking just me. Plus they seem pretty accepting of same sex couples, look there's one right in the flyer and-”

“Dean...stop, take a breath. I don’t really want to join the military-”

Hearing Cas say he wasn’t interested, Dean snatched the flyers back and with disappointment he could hold in he shot back, “It was just an idea, nevermind.”

“Hey, let me finish. I said _I_ didn’t want to join, but I was going to say that I’d be open to talking about it more. If you joined it would give you formal training and we’d have health care, right?’

Relieved, Dean felt himself smile and he explained, “Yep and housing and steady income. You really interested?”

“What have we got to lose? We aren’t tied to anything here and the military is family friendly. You sure they accept same sex marriage and carriers? I mean they can say one thing, but…”

“The recruiter said it’s like the rest of the world, most are fine but there are always a few shitheads. But policy says it can’t affect my treatment.”

Cas looked at Dean hopefully, “You pretty sure about it?”

“I am Cas. I get a good feeling…I did some snooping on the internet and still feel the same.”

“Let’s do it then. I trust you Dean and if they need good mechanics they can’t get any better than you.”

“Thanks, Babe.” Dean said cheeks tinging pink. He called the recruiter and they met with him that afternoon. Cas grilled the sergeant who answered every question. Some answers Cas liked, some he didn’t but overall he seemed satisfied. They left the office with a bag of goodies and an appointment for Dean to take the ASVAB test for career placement.

 

Later that night when Cas collapsed on Dean’s chest, both sweaty and flushed, Dean held him and asked again, “You really okay with this. You ready to be an Air Force spouse?”

“Sure I am. Watch out wives..here comes Sergeant Winchester’s husband!”

Dean laughed and then Cas sat back up and gave his hips a little grind. Dean couldn’t help but grind back as Cas said in his gravelly, sexed out voice, “ And besides, who doesn’t love a man in uniform?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments fuel my muse...


End file.
